When did you say "yes", when you should have said "no"?
“I want to move out,” he said. “Oh, where do you want us to move to?” I said, not getting it. - Michelle Brooks

Yes. No. Maybe. I don't know.

What's the weirdest "team-building" exercise you survived?
Taking over the Jets in what became the final season for the gimpy-kneed quarterback, Joe Namath, Holtz promised that his team would "move the ball." "I just hope to God it's forward," he said. - Washington Post eulogy for coach Lou Holtz

You Were Supposed to Catch Me

Define the following:
1. cash cow
2. example
3. no
The test question was, "Write an example of risk". The elementary student wrote, "This." - Unknown

Don't Define Me

When dealing with a family member who makes a short story long, tell them...
She just got too lazy to shut up. - Raylan Givens, Justified

Once Upon a Time

What is one thing you've learned from playing a sport?
Inspired to try an Olympic sport? Learn how to fall. Skateboarding is all about falling. It’s key to everything. If you aren’t falling, you aren’t learning. You have to hit the ground to progress. – Ryan Sheckler, world-champion skateboarder and eight-times X games medalist 

Learn How to Fail

You're working out some new material for your comedy club gig. What's your opening line and quick follow-up involving a bartender and a priest?
I'm gonna pray now. Anyone want anything? - Flip Wilson

What'll It Be?

What family situation forced you to improvise and everyone laughed about it afterwards?
To be a dad in real life, you have to improvise 24 hours a day. - Tom Bosley

Didn't Expect That